how do i make it stop
beginning and ending
with you.
t.w.
apogee.
it was like magic
the way you complemented the world around you,
filling the expanses of this familiar container.
—
you took the shape of whatever room you were in,
making each room you entered
the most exciting place to be.
t.w.
nothing at all.
give me gravity.
i am not afraid
to feel things deeply.
i am afraid
to feel nothing at all.
t.w.
never said.
i remember asking if it
hurt you as bad as it hurt me.
you just looked at the ground.
and that was the loudest thing
you never said.
t.w.
composition.
i know i’m being idealistic
and i’m not thinking straight
but i don’t think i want to think straight
if it means thinking about anyone other than you.
t.w.
clouds of you.
a dying breath
is liberated
from these uneven lips.
it dissipates into
the thickest cloud of you.
t.w.
cathartes aura.
the human heart is beautifully stubborn;
clinging to the shreds of life
we find on the floor.
t.w.
hold.
i just want someone
to hold my hand
when my world
is falling
apart.
t.w.
eyes.
“your eyes.” he stares dejectedly at the ground.
“they’re your biggest tell,” pausing to choke
down a shaky breath. “i didn’t need your words
to know you no longer love me.”
t.w.
tulips for a clouded day.
i sit.
i wait.
the words don’t come.
my mind keeps sifting.
a stiffness fills the void.
our eyes form tacit accords;
a forfeiture.
dolefully less
than we’ve aspired for.
t.w.
silent mile.
i wish to one day drive a silent mile.
t.w.
skin.
you showed me your scars,
the cuts on your skin
and from that moment
all i wanted
was to cover them in love.
t.w.
burning.
you were on fire.
i was just burning.
t.w.
be like me.
but maybe i don’t want
to be like you.
maybe i want to be like me —
whatever the hell that means.
t.w.
only ever yours.
the sad thing is
it was never our song.
you never let me in
long enough to let it be.
—
it was only ever yours.
t.w.
pedestal.
why was i surprised you
looked down on me
when i placed you
on a pedestal.
t.w.
convince myself.
so i just lie and say i’m over it.
i convince them with a smile.
i just wish i could convince myself.
t.w.
all i deserve.
there was so much wrong
with the little we had
but maybe i held on so tight
because a little was all
i thought i ever deserved.
t.w.
you.
and that’s just it,
you can’t always
tie it up in a neat little bow —
it’s never that easy
sometimes it’s a pile of shit
and you can’t quite
get rid of the smell.
t.w.
into oblivion.
how easy it is
to slip into oblivion.
to exist.
to live your days
not really living at all.
t.w.