in that moment i knew
you were quickly becoming
the one thing i promised myself
i’d never let you become.
t.w.
a haiku about the day i spilled my milk.
spilled my milk again
but this time i did not cry
i have no more tears
i do not like milk
it no longer pleases me
but i still drink it
a habit i guess
every time i am thirsty
it’s there in my fridge
t.w.
a prayer for today.
Lord, would you change this heart.
come make me tender again.
t.w.
excerpt 06.
“could you ever learn to love me again?”
“i never stopped.”
t.w.
a prayer for today.
i will trust in you Lord
when i do not see a way.
i will keep turning
my eyes to heaven
because i know you
are working for my good.
t.w.
the idea of you.
i don’t know
how to say no
to the idea of you.
t.w.
a prayer for today.
be here today God.
i want to see you.
t.w.
rituals.
like a dog returning to its vomit,
i too return to your memory—
a ritual i cannot break.
biding my time,
picking at wounds
until all that remains is
blood under my nails
and shame in my heart.
t.w.
a prayer for today.
let the posture of my heart
be pleasing to you.
let there be no offensive
way in me O Lord.
lead me in ways of righteousness
so that i may dwell in you.
t.w.
go down smooth.
how come all the lies i tell myself
go down smooth
except the one where i tell myself
i’m over you.
t.w.
a prayer for today.
open my eyes to the newness
of your mercies O Lord,
for i seek your Spirit in the quiet;
i wait for your voice in the dark.
carry with you peace and patience Lord,
for my heart is made weak in your company.
t.w.
beyond.
maybe if you read what i wrote
you’d fall in love with my words.
t.w.
a prayer for today.
Lord would you be here in this space.
we are desperate for your touch.
we need you here O God.
t.w.
i hope you are well.
i hope you are well.
—
and i don’t mean that
in some polite, rhetorical way.
i mean;
i hope you’ve grown closer
with your brother.
i hope you’re happier
than you’ve ever been.
i hope you had fun
on your birthday.
i hope you’ve found meaning
in your work.
i hope your mom
is doing well.
i hope you have friends
to confide in.
i hope you’ve found peace
in your deepest sorrows.
i hope your relationship
with God is fruitful.
i hope you’ve found forgiveness
for the things you thought were beyond it.
i hope you’ve fallen in love
with yourself.
—
i hope you are well.
t.w.
a prayer for today.
Lord, let everything i do
be for your glory.
t.w.
fouquieria splendens.
how am i supposed to
let go of the only thing
that made me want to
hold on.
t.w.
twisted ideations.
reflections bereft—
alone together.
indelible wills—
twisted ideations.
t.w.
a prayer for today.
Lord, let my heart grow
in its understanding of your love.
reveal yourself to me so that
i may come to love you better.
t.w.
pistis.
we have deceived ourselves
beyond comprehension.
we have —in essence—
convinced ourselves on a clouded day
that the sun has refused to rise—
or rather that it never existed at all.
t.w.
a prayer for today.
Lord show me what fullness
looks like on this side of heaven—
on this side of eden. may i find
sufficiency in you.
t.w.